A Bit Of An Update

The last time I updated this blog was the 18th October, that’s over 2 months ago and to be brutally honest the updates on this blog for a large chunk of this year have been few and far between.  I want to give you an explanation for this.  I suffer from depression and this year it has hit me hard.  Not so hard that I want to end my life and am unable to get out of bed, but hard enough that since around June the joy had been sucked out of my life.  You don’t feel much like blogging or doing much of anything when the world isn’t looking so bright.  I am thankfully seeing the tail end of it.  Life is starting to look more joyous again.  I find myself spontaneously dancing in the kitchen whilst I’m cooking for no reason whatsoever and that feels pretty damn good.

One of the things that helped boot me out of this depression was performing in my first stage show in almost 18 years.  It was just a small role as Aunt Gardiner in the play Pride & Prejudice.  I was in only 4 scenes and spent about 10 mins of a 3 hour long play on stage, but behind the scenes was where all the fun was and I was blessed to be surrounded by some of the most joyous and wonderful people. Every night for 2 weeks (bar 2 days off), I wrestled with a curling iron and hair that most steadfastly did not want to be curled so I could end up looking like this.

Check out that bonnet

Also, I got cuddles from this handsome young man whilst getting my make-up done.

This is the gorgeous Jasper

Unfortunately, I got really sick at the end of the play’s run and spent the following week in bed, by doctor’s orders.  I have never had the flu so bad.  I have also been never yelled at by a doctor in German for going to work and taking cold & flu medication – you know, what you normally do when you have what you think is just a cold.  I now know that my actions were stupid and dangerous by German standards.

I also started a book blog called Urban Dystopia as the only upside to this lovely bout of depression was that my book obsession became even more obsessive and to help get my mental health back on track I decided to blog about books.  I think it kinda worked.

Work has not been great this year and was a factor in my decline in mental health.  Those that know me offline have had to put up with my ranting and I thank you all so much for that, it has helped immensely to get those feelings out. Shit is continuing on the work front, but I am not able to blog openly about it. One day I am going to have some very interesting stories.

So, that’s a very honest update about my absence. However, I feel I’m back now or at the very least getting there. Hopefully blog updates will be a little bit more regular from now on.

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5 thoughts on “A Bit Of An Update

  1. Glad to hear you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s definitely hard to write when feeling so down. For me, writing is therapeutic but I find that what I want to write about during that time would probably be negative and depressing. So, I censor myself for my readers but in hindsight, that might not be the best either. Anyway, hope you’re feeling better and can enjoy the holiday!

  2. Obviously I don’t know, what problem you encounter at work, but the laws here in Germany often favour us workers. You are still so young, that you need and will want to work for quite some time. Never sacrifice yourself for work.

    I envy your participation in the play, although I am sure the bonnet matches you way better, then it would my currently heavily bearded self. ;-)

    Enjoy the holidays and keep blogging.

  3. Beautiful bonnet. Glad you are seeing some light, and that you did things like acting and the book blog, that helped you help yourself. Keep dancing in the kitchen!

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