To The Bullies Who Made Me Stronger #scintilla

CHIPPENHAM, UNITED KINGDOM - FEBRUARY 23:  A p...

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Today’s prompt:

Write the letter to the bully, to the cheater, to the aggressor that you always wanted to but couldn’t quite. Now tell them why they can’t affect you any more.

To the bullies who picked on my glasses and eyepatch,

Yeah, I got lumped with terrible eyesight and am embarrassing treatment regime but having you pick on me daily for years on end didn’t make it any easier to deal with. In fact you made my primary school years an almost living hell. But you taught me from a young age that some people are just assholes and it is better to ignore them than to listen to what they say. Today I wear contacts and no one teases me but the whole is still full of assholes who I’ve learnt to ignore all because of you.

To the girls who didn’t want to play with me,

That really hurt.  We were all friends and suddenly one day you decided you no longer wanted to play with me.  I don’t know what changed, I don’t remember doing anything wrong.  It was like suddenly being seen with me was really uncool.  I guess we were at that age where appearances mattered and I was really goofy looking and clumsy.  Being abandoned by you taught me to rely only on my self.  Those lunch times spent in the library meant I could read even more books than I already did and escape into worlds that were far more interesting than the one I was in.  Friendships come and go, but thanks to your actions I learnt long ago that sometimes the reason people stop being your friends have nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

To the bitchy mean girls in high school,

This was really just a repeat of primary school with added bitchiness. I know I’m uncool but pointing it out on a daily basis was really unnecessary. I took pleasure in beating you all in every single exam and let’s face it, I actually graduated from high school. Smart is sexy, it just took mainstream culture a while to grasp that fact. I actually feel sorry that life hasn’t treated you fairly and you got pregnant before you were old enough to handle it or you wound up with that drug addiction. I guess being uncool was a blessing.

To the adult who should have known better,

This letter hurts to write.  All the others were just kids being cruel as kids do when they are figuring out their place in the world. You do not have that excuse.  Your words hurt a thousand times more than anything said to me in the school yard. My self-esteem still bares the scars left by you. Today you still say the same shit as you always have but today the words don’t hurt as much. I no longer need your approval or blessing. I live my life on my own terms and I have become a better person as you showed me who I didn’t want to become.

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4 thoughts on “To The Bullies Who Made Me Stronger #scintilla

  1. Hurrah for you for 1) getting this written down and 2) growing past all the hate out there and turning it into something good. I haven’t yet responded to this prompt yet, in part because I’m having a hard time “spinning” this from an expat slant but probably more so because it really is a painful subject, isn’t it?

    From my view, though, from the short time we met and from knowing you through reading your blog I have to say that what didn’t kill you definitely made you stronger. :)

    • Aww… thank you. :)

      Yes, this is a hard post to write and I didn’t even try to slant it from an expat perspective. I don’t know if I could even do that.

  2. I bare a lot of scars as a result of being the fat kid. It’s something I still deal with. It’s not easy for me.

    So, I just wanted to say that it is pretty awesome to see someone putting that behind them

    • I wish I could say that I’ve put it all behind me, but my self-esteem is still not very good. Let’s say that it’s a work in progress.

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