Ever since I wrote a post about being a tomboy, the search term ‘how to stop your daughter from being a tomboy’ has been appearing on an almost daily basis in my statistics.
My advice for all you mothers out there who want to change their tomboy daughters into a more feminine one. Don’t. Don’t even try it.
You are the one who needs changing, not your daughter. So, your daughter has a different style to you. She doesn’t like wearing dresses or skirts. So what? Your feminine sense of style is not the only one that girls should adhere to. It works for you, you love it, but your daughter is not you. Your daughter is her own person with her own sense of style. Learn to embrace it, instead of fighting it. If only to reduce the number of fights between you and your daughter and to get your relationship with her back to a good place.
My mother struggled and fought with me throughout most of my life because I am a tomboy and hate anything resembling a dress, a skirt or anything even remotely feminine. She even went as far as stealing my jeans so I would be forced to wear a skirt. It did not change my sense of style but it most certainly damaged our relationship. My mother only came to accept my fashion choices when I came out as lesbian and only because she had a antiquated idea of what a lesbian was and how they dressed. And let me say here for all you mothers freaking out – no being a tomboy does not mean your daughter is a lesbian. I just happened to be both. Your daughter can be the most feminine girl out there and still be a lesbian.
Let this fight go. Accept your daughter’s sense of style. Work with her in choosing outfits that she likes and feels comfortable in that also suit the occasion. A suit can look fantastic on a woman and is perfectly acceptable for a formal event. She is not going to change her sense of style because you hate it. All you are going to accomplish is making your daughter resent you. It is not worth it over what in the end is a stupid fight about clothes.